my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
