Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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