Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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