It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
