You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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