We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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