If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
