You made me cry and you don't even care
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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