so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
