may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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