I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
