are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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