Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
