: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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