butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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