yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
