the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
