Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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