do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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