My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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