if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
