he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
