you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
