we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
