lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
