What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
