I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
