You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
