Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
