My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
