Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
