is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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