Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just had sex on a roof
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
