Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
