i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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