We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
