So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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