Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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