i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
