Sry I called you an 8
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
only you would photoshop your dick
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Bring me that man meat
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh god it's open bar.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
