well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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