My sheets look like a crime scene.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
