I hate all girls vehemently.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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