reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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