My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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