You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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