i think i have two assholes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
