No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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