Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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