im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
